


Amputee

by Cassy_Apple



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, this is oc centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2394092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassy_Apple/pseuds/Cassy_Apple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens if you lose something you were born with? Or perhaps... not something, but someone. What happens if you lose your twin? Do you stop being a twin? Or are you just an amputee? Lac lost John. And now she's just trying to navigate her way through this crazy, Titan infested world. Eventual Levi/OC. OC-centric Oc can be read as Reader w/ chosen name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Lac and John

**Author's Note:**

> So i've posted this on ff.net but thought i might just leave it here too... i like the dynamics of twins.

x

* * *

"Twins have a special bond. They feel safer with each other than with their peers."

-Jeanne Philips

* * *

x

**Year 845**

The trickle of a small stream and the rustling of the summer breeze through the tall grass was the only background noise as my brother and I sat outside. I was tinkering with my invention and he was just sitting there. I couldn't risk working on it in town. A few weeks back I had begun drawing my invention when my step-mother found the papers and tore them to shreds before beating me severely. I still had bruises on my stomach.

My hand absentmindedly reached for the spot and I rubbed it to ease some of the lingering pain.

"If it's any consolation, Dad wasn't very happy with Margret when he found out. He still isn't. I hear them fighting outside by the barn every night..." my brother trailed off brushing his hands against the grass.

It probably should have been amazing that he could tell I had been rubbing my bruises without even seeing me, but I'd known him since before my birth. We'd shared a womb and sometimes I even think we shared feelings and thoughts. It didn't matter that he was blind, he always knew what I was doing, just as I always felt him on some level inside my mind.

I sighed and choose not to add comment. He knew where my feelings stood in regards to my father and step-mother. I instead evaluated my work thus far. I had crafted two wooden wheels and the frame was almost done.

"Why are people so scared of change?" I asked myself and my twin aloud, "If... if my invention pans out- it could seriously help travel and it would make so many more things time efficient and- and...  _urgh_!" I tossed my tools back into tool box causing a loud clatter. I'd be worried of attracting attention but this spot was secret. An hour and half hike from my family's farm which itself was a half hour walk from town.

My brother stopped playing with the long blades of grass and turned to face my voice, his expression full of contemplation. "Maybe... maybe people are scared of what they don't know? I mean look at the Titans. We don't know a thing about them and they're the most terrifying things in this world. Except perhaps death, but even then we don't know anything about death and that's why so many people try everything in their power to not die. Even though it will eventually happen to them anyways..." he trailed off.

My body stilled as his speech once again turned toward dark subjects like death and the Titans.

I looked up from my work at him. His eyes probably would have been dark like mine, but instead, the blindness left them this milky blue color. It was frightening for most people in our small village. I adored them. I studied the look on his face. Peaceful. The looked unnerved me.

"Okay - spill, John. What're ya thinking about in that crazy brain of yours?" I asked, my expression flat.

He smiled bashfully and scratched his cheek.

"Just something the Doctor said to me..."

I couldn't keep my eyes from rolling. John had been seeing a doctor in the village for a little over three years now, since he was nine. I didn't like the guy. He always watched everyone around him like they were beneath him. Like he was in on some joke the rest of us weren't privy.

"Oh yeah? And what did good ol' Doc Stupid Face say this time?" I asked, laying down next to where John was sitting. I reached forward to grab his hand and set it on my forehead. He began to stroke my hair.

"I asked him to describe what the Titans look like... he's seen them, you know? He was granted permission to watch some from the top of Wall Maria… research stuff." I stiffened but otherwise remained silent.

John continued to stroke my hair, but after I was silent for too long he tugged none too nicely.

" _Ouch_!" I shouted, and made to smack his hand- only he pulled it away at the last moment and I ended up smacking my own head.

John chuckled and leaned back on both his arms as I stared up at him.

"Anyways… he told me that they looked like us. Kind of. Some of their proportions are more exaggerated than normal humans, but mostly they look pretty human..."

"What else?" I asked, because it was written all over his face he was deeply thinking about something and he wanted to talk about it, even if the subject disturbed me.

"He said that a lot of them have this... smile. A constant smile. So I got thinking, the Titans are probably happy. But then I thought, 'What could they be so happy about? They don't do anything. They don't do anything-' When I realized they're happy... to eat us. That's their happiness. They're not doing it to be cruel. And- well if it's only natural for them to eat us, maybe we should all just get eaten so that life could just progress from there?"

The wind stopped and the air grew still. I... couldn't, I couldn't form anything to say. I jumped and grabbed his shoulders forcing him to turn toward me even though he couldn't see me. He looked startled, but with a hint of familiarity. Like he knew this would be my reaction, that stupid small smile on his face.

"If you ever say stupid shit like that again, you won't have to wait for a Titan to eat you- I'll kill you myself! Do you understand me, John?" I asked wildly shaking him, hoping I could force reason into him if I shook hard enough.

He just laughed.

Totally not my desired effect.

"I'm not joking! Tell me you understand!" I shouted, becoming a bit frantic. This wasn't the first time he had said something about dying or just letting himself or others die because all of us were going to die anyway. He called it 'natural' and a 'kindness' that we humans were allowed to die. I didn't try to understand his logic on this topic.

"I know, I know," he chanted pulling his arms up to cup my cheeks. He started wiping tears I hadn't even realized I'd been crying.

"I'm sorry, Lacramo. I'm sorry, okay? I just wasn't thinking is all."

I took a deep breath and pulled away from him, wiping my own eyes.

"You have to promise me something, John," I said, pulling on my serious voice.

"Hmm?" he asked, looking off to the side of where my eyes were.

"You have to promise me that no matter what happens, Titans, robbers or murders, you have to promise that you'll never give up because of your goddamn idea of 'kindness', okay? It's not a kindness to let something kill you just because it can."

The smile returned fully to his face and he closed his eyes. Like he was stewing over an answer that would pacify me. "Okay, Lac. I promise to never let myself die. Will you stop crying now?" he asked tilting his head to the side and looked straight at me, as if he could actually see me.

I felt my face heat up at his intense stare that had somehow managed to catch my eyes directly. I turned to look off at the water and my discarded tools and invention.

"Tch, who's crying? Not me..." I muttered and started packing everything up in burlap bags and put them back in their hidey-hole I had created so no one could stumble upon my work. When I turned around John was standing and offering his hand toward me.

"C'mon, let's go home," he said, smiling at me. I let him pull me up before I started leading the two of us home.

The year was 845. Three weeks later Wall Maria would fall at the forces of the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan and two days after that the Titans would reach my small village before the news could.

Had I known, that walking home with John on that bright Sunday afternoon would be one of the last times I would get to enjoy his company…

I would have told him I loved him.

I would have held him.

I would have vocalized everything he was to me even though the two of us didn't need to say those kinds of things out loud.

Because three weeks and two days from that moment I would only be half of the person I was born. Because three weeks and two days after that Sunday my brother, my twin, would be dead.


	2. Enter 104th Cadets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story...

x

"Mum used to say we were the same soul split in two and walking around on four legs. It seems unnatural being born together and then dying apart."

-Melodie Ramone, _After Forever Ends_

x

* * *

 

**Year 851**

"You know what I heard?" Thomas asked the group of bunks around his bed.

Eren was laying back with his eyes closed, but listening as the rest of the guys talked on through the night.

"What did you hear, Thomas?" Armin asked, politely.

Eren opened his eyes and saw Thomas lean closer to his and Armin's bed and with a conspiratorial whisper began his gossip.

"I heard that when Wall Maria fell, there was a small farming village on the southeastern side of the Plains Territory that didn't get warned when the Titans came. Before the Scouts could reach their town two Titans had already arrived and started devouring people. However..." Thomas took a dramatic pause as Armin and other boys leaned in closer, "When the scouts finally did get there, there was only one Titan left!"

"What happened to the other?" Armin asked, completely engrossed in the story.

Eren sat up, his curiosity peaking, along with other boys that had gathered. It was only their second week at the trainee barracks so everyone was still trying to get to know each other.

"That's where the legend comes in! The monster of a human that killed a Titan with no training! They say the Titan was a 20 meter class! And she was armed with only a butcher's carving knife!"

A bunch of groans rang out.

"Oh come off it, Thomas!"

"That's impossible."

"You're just making stuff up now, go to bed!"

"Huh?! No, I'm not making this up! I swear! One of the older cadets told me..." Thomas said his voice wavering.

"But really, Thomas. Think about it, we already learned that the only thing capable of cutting Titan skin is the steal worked over completely by the army's skilled weapon's craftsmen. How could she of possibly killed one with a simple knife?" Eren asked, laying back down.

"W-well then I'll prove it! She's here- the Titan Killer. I'll find her tomorrow and have her tell you guys herself!"

"Eren and I will help you then!" Armin said, with convection. His bleeding heart going out for all the flank Thomas was getting from his fellow recruits.

"Oh 'we' are, are we?" Eren asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Hehe, well..." Armin scratched his cheek, blushing a bit, "It's not as if we have anything else to do. Even though it's our day off, these training grounds are located pretty remotely. What else would we have to do?" Armin asked, and looked at Eren with those pleading eyes.

Eren huffed. "Fine, fine- whatever. I'm going to bed now though," Eren replied, rolling over.

"W-wow thanks guys!" Thomas shouted, laying down himself with a happy flop.

* * *

 

Thomas jogged over to the two boys from the Shiganshina District.

"Okay, I- I think I found her!" he said, out of breath. All morning he had been running around trying to find the supposed Titan killer among the final year recruits.

"Which one?" Armin asked, looking over Thomas' shoulder at a group of final year recruits. Most of them girls none of which looked like a monster or vicious killer in Armin's opinion.

"The one with that has the long, dark hair!" Thomas shouted in a whisper as the three boys peered over the corner of the barracks. It appeared though that the group of final year recruits had spotted the trio of boys. They all turned their heads to stare at them. Thomas let out a 'meep!' before pulling the other two boys back with him.

"So... how are we going to go up to them?" Armin asked, with a nervous smile.

"Uh... Well, I don't- I'm not sure," Thomas said with a nervous chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh come on guys. We'll just go ask," Eren said dragged them both with him. Once they reached the group of recruits, all of who were sitting on the steps outside the final year recruits female's barracks, one with short blonde hair spoke up right away.

"Awe! If only you guys had waited just five more minutes I would have won all the dinner rolls!" she shouted at the trio with an exasperated pout.

"You guys were placing bets on us?" Armin asked, pulling himself away from Eren's grip.

"Yeah, and thanks to you boys- I'm going to be eating like a king tonight!" the only male of the group said throwing his hands in the air. "What do'ya squirts want anyway? Staring at us from over there like creeps- it's just not polite," the male added.

"We-we wanted to see if the Titan killer was here!" Thomas said, but in his effort to get all his words out he ended up shouting at the older recruits. They looked stunned for a moment before they all broke out in laughter, except for the girl with long dark hair. She only smiled while rubbing the back of her neck.

"We'll I guess this is where we take our leave! Good luck, Lac!" the male shouted.

"Huh?! You are seriously leaving me, Brad- guys?" she asked looking around as all her friends got up.

"We've heard your story a million times over! Come find us on the training ground when you're done!" Brad waved as he led the other girls with him out of view from the three boys and the supposed Titan Killer.

"Some friends you lot are..." Lac muttered before turning her attention back to the guys younger than herself. "So, I suppose some guy the name Bothro told you I was some sort of monster that- what was he telling new recruits last year? That I sunk my razor sharp teeth into the back of a Titan's neck and ripped it out?" she asked, looking upward as if she were recalling the story.

"U-uh no... Just, just that you killed a Titan when you were 12- armed only with a carving knife!" Thomas spoke for the trio.

Eren studied Lac's face. A bemused smile spread across her lips before she busted out laughing at the trio.

"Oh God- tell me he didn't!" she continued, still chuckling holding her sides.

"So it's not true, then?" Eren asked his shoulders slumping. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was actually very excited upon waking that morning at the prospect of meeting someone who had actually killed a Titan.

"Hmm?" Lac asked, collecting herself completely.

"You didn't kill a Titan?" Armin asked.

"Oh, no that part is true," the older girl said, all traces of amusement gone. All three boys were stunned to silence before questions poured form all of them at once- bombarding Lac with their curiosities.

"Was it a 20 meter class?!"

"What did you kill it with, if not a carving knife?!"

"How did you manage to survive?!"

"Eh!? Children, children- clam down! One question at a time-" she said, holding her hands out in a defensive manner.

"You'll really answer all our questions?" Armin asked, looking surprised. A warm smiled spread across Lac's face again,

"Yeah, why not? Have a seat," she motioned to the steps she was sitting on. "Ask whatever you want and if you guys ask something that makes me uncomfortable I just won't answer it. That sounds fair, right?" They all nodded. "Okay, so- I guess first things first. It wasn't a 20 meter class. It was 7 meters at most-"

"Still! That's terrifying!" Armin interjected. Lac nodded her head, her expression turning grim as her thoughts lead her back to that day.

"How did you manage to kill it?" Eren asked his eyes wide with inspiration.

Lac's entire body tensed as she looked upward again, like the events of that day were playing out for her in the sky. Eren blushed as the silence droned on and he started to wonder if he had asked the wrong question. But eventually something relaxed in her, but her gaze stayed upward.

Her voice was much softer when she spoke next. "Mr. Landerson. I can't believe I'd almost forgotten his name- he was our village's butcher. His daughter had joined the military and earlier that year she sent him two new sheering machetes. They were crafted out of steal from the army's reserved metal. He was so proud when he got them, showed them off to anyone that would look..." a frown started to grow on her face, "He was eaten that day."

Eren hesitated to ask his question. But he had to know.

"Weren't you scared?"

Lac blinked and brought herself back to the present. "Scared?"

Eren, clutched his fists and thought back to his mother and Hans. "Weren't you scared to take the Titan on?" he asked through clenched teeth. Lac's smiled returned, much smaller than before, but still it was there.

"Scared...? No I guess I wasn't."

"H-how could you not be scared?!" Thomas asked, shouting again. Lac tried to keep her smile on, for the younger teen's sake, but she just couldn't manage it perfectly.

"Don't get me wrong, when I first heard the cries... someone was running down the main street shouting, 'Titan! Titan'" Lac gulped hard, "I froze. I was... so terrified I couldn't even breathe. But then I," Lac struggled to find the right words, "At the beginning of the Titan's attack I had something precious to me, but then it was destroyed. After I realized my precious thing was gone- I stopped being scared." She looked up at the trio of boys from her position on the steps. They looked so young.

"In fact," she continued, "I haven't really been scared since. Nothing is quite as powerful as it used to be. I wasn't scared of the Titan because after what I loved was gone, fear simply wasn't necessary anymore," she concluded with a flippant hand motion. "They can't take anything away from me anymore."

"C-can I ask, what was it you lost?" Armin asked.

"Ah!" Lac shouted sitting up and launching herself from the steps with a carefree skip and such grace it almost appeared as if she were gliding. "That's something I won't answer!" she said, with her smile back in place. "I should really go practice now, my final exams are coming up and if I don't make top ten I might hang myself," She stalked off toward the training grounds.

As soon as her back was to the trio of new cadets her smile fell. Thinking back to that day, thinking about her life before here, she couldn't seem to stop the memories from flooding back. She couldn't keep herself from remembering the last time she saw her brother.


End file.
